whispers of inner self…

I have done something that I regret alot. Last few days were not my happy days. I feel anger and sad at the same time. There were reasons for that but I don’t think this is the space to talk about it. What I’m focusing on is the way I treat others, those who are close to my heart mainly my youngers daughter. She became my punching bag! (literally speaking).

Thinking back, this anger has been build up years ago. Never really letting it out on the right person. Keeping it all in and hoping it will dissapear one day. But it didn’t! It keeps piling up and as I discover, I’m feeling depressed. Did tried once, talking it out but nothing gained from it. I was not given the chance to be understood. And I hate being taken for granted.

I don’t know why her? A small mistake made and I was like a monster, roaring aloud at her. She cried that night because I really ignored her. It breaks my heart thinking about it. So very sorry sayang. I got overboard this time. 

I’m tired of feeling deceived, ignored, unimportant and burden to others. Things must change for the better. Hoping this coming Ramadhan will help me clense out all the negativiti in me. Letting go of all the sorrow build up for years and forgive the one who makes my heartache. I am not me anymore till I squeeze out the anger, hatred and instill in me the goodness of others. I can’t change them but I can try to change me. InsyaAllah


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