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Pasrah…

“Sabarlah wahai hati. Ku tahu aku mampu hadapinya. Bukan kah segalanya di dunia ini hanya pinjaman belaka. Tiba masa aku mesti pulangkan kepadaNya. Hadirkanlah redho dalam hati ini, ya Tuhan…”

Ku ulang berkali2 kata-kata ini, demi memujuk hati. Andai ini takdirNya…

Kurelakan biar pedih, sakit dihiris, luka yang akan berbekas lama. Sudah lama kutanggung sakit ini tapi ku sabarkan hati, ku ikhlaskan hati menerima apa saja kerana ku tahu diriku juga penuh dosa dan lemah peribadi. Dia kuterima seadanya… tapi sekian lama menangis dalam tidur, akhirnya aku tewas juga dengan amarah tersimpan lama ini.

“Terpulang atas apa saja keputusan awak”. Hanya itu yang mampu ku zahirkan. Tiada lagi daya amarah dan jemu sudah rajuk hati rawat sendiri. Beribu kali peluang dan ruang untuk perbaiki, namun tetap sama. Pasrah… 

Ucapan maaf makin lama makin tawar rasanya. Aku makin hilang percaya makna maaf dari awak. Dulu aku kagum dengan keberanian ucap maaf sentiasa dimulut kerana aku bukan lah orang yang dibiasakan ungkapkan maaf. Benar-benar aku kagum. Perlahan-lahan aku ikut jejakmu, ikhlaskan hati mohon maaf atas apa silapku. Hebat rasanya, lega meluah kata maaf bila melihat sekilas senyum puas dari mereka. Tapi… kau juga yang membuat aku hilang yakin atas ungkapan maaf bila berulang kali silap yang sama dibuat dan diiringi maaf. Tiada lagi rasa… kebas sekebas tanganku bila memegang benda terlalu lama. 

Dalam setiap titip doa, kumohon padaNya kembalikan lah keyakinan dan rasa kagum itu hadir semula. Kembalikan dia yang amat ku hormati dan sanjungi. Betapa rindunya aku setinggi rindu pencinta kehebatan anugerahNya padaku seketika dulu.
-cerpen nukilan rasa Wad6 HSJP-

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Posted by on July 19, 2017 in coretan

 

Mee Kari…

Google the menu from iResepi.com and tried it today for iftar 17 Ramadhan. Decide to cook mee kari because most of the ingrediants were available in the fridge… but need to shop for some things though. So, hubby, lets go to shopping!

First stop was the Midtown Perda. Intending to buy my baju raya but, the dresses was not to my taste. Biasala… rambang mata. End up buying hubby’s Kurta. So settle hubby’s baju raya lah. Me, still got 2 more weeks to look around. Like always, mine will be the last to buy. This year, we decide to be in brown shades.

Next, Mydin Bertam. Lots of customer around, since its a Sunday and last day of school holidays. Straight to the racks where I need to buy things. Of all days, today Mydin out off Kerang.. urmmm. Lazy to stop other place, so make do with whats in the fridge.

Reached home, feeling so tired and it was hot! Rest first ( sleep la, apa lagi). Next week start schooling, must be very tiring. Sabar, dugaan dariNya. 

Around 5.00 pm, raid the kitchen.. haha. Make do with what I have, improvise the recepi.

  • Bahan:

    • 1 kg mee kuning
    • 500 gram ayam, potong kecil
    • 1 kg kerang, rebus dan ambil isi ( not to be seen)
    • 300 gram udang, buang kulit
    • 2 cawan air rebusan dari kulit udang yg dibuang (use chicken stork)
    • 10-15 biji bebola ikan (fish ball)
    • 3 keping kek ikan (fish cake)
    • 4 sudu besar rempah kari ayam, bancuh menjadi pes pekat
    • 2 keping asam gelugor
    • 1 biji kentang atau 1/2 biji keledek merah, rebus dan lecek halus ( malas nak guna)
    • 2 cawan santan pekat
    • 2 cawan santan cair
    Bahan untuk rempah tumis:
    • 1 batang kayu manis
    • 3 kuntum bunga lawang
    • 3 kuntum cengkih
    • 5 biji buah pelaga
    • 2 tangkai daun kari
    Bahan untuk kisar halus:
    • 6 biji bawang merah
    • 4 ulas bawang putih
    • 1 inci halia
    • 1 inci lengkuas
    • 1 batang serai, hiris nipis
    • 10 tangkai cili kering, rebus dan toskan air
    • 2 sudu besar udang kering, rendam sehingga lembut. ( tak ada)
    Bahan untuk hiasan:
    • 4 biji telur rebus, potong dua
    • 2 tangkai sawi, potong dan rebus
    • bawang goreng
    • limau kasturi, potong dua
    • taugeh
    • daun bawang
    • cili merah
    • tauhu kering goreng
    • *saya rebus udang dan letak sebagai hiasan istimewa

Cara-cara:

    1. Panaskan air sehingga mendidih dan celur mee kuning seketika. Angkat dan toskan.
    2. Panaskan minyak, masukkan bahan rempah tumis dan kacau sehingga naik bau. Masukkan pula bahan kisar halus bersama pes rempah kari. Kacau sehingga agak garing dan betul-betul pecah minyak.
    3. Masukkan ayam dan kacau seketika sehingga separuh masak kemudian tuang air rebusan udang dan santan cair. Masak kuah sehingga mendidih.
    4. Masukkan pula santan pekat, bebola ikan, kek ikan, udang, kerang, asam gelugor dan kentang (ataupun keledek) lecek. Kacau kuah semasa proses memasak supaya santan tidak pecah minyak.
    5. Perasakan dengan garam dan gula secukup rasa.
    6. Hidangkankan mee bersama bahan hiasan dan tuang kuah secukupnya.
  1. Tadaaa….

    Nobody said anything, either sedap ke tidak. But everyone makan tambah, so I assumed, sedap la. For my opinion, memang sedap and I’m keeping this recipe. Maybe one of my juadah hari raya this year…. who knows. So, you guys who are reding my post, give ot try. I gave 5 HA #slurrpmeekari

     
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    Posted by on June 11, 2017 in coretan, favourites, yummy

     

    bacaan ku ….

    -Ebit Lew-
    Hari ini cuti, sibuk masak untuk bidadari dan anak-anak. Semua anak-anak bersorak sibuk tengok macam kapal terbang mendarat dalam rumah. Sebab jarang-jarang ayahnya masak. Ya Allah. Maafkanlah diriku ini…

    Kelakar campur sedih sayu sangat…..sebab terbayang bidadari saya hari-hari masak. Mak saya dulu pun begitu.begitulah kebanyakan wanita…anak-anak kata ayah nak ini..nak itu..nak ini..menjerit-jerit. Dia tak tahu ayah dia bukan pandai macam umi dia masak. 

    Isteri lak senyum-senyum tengok suami..sibuk rakam suami dia masak. Ambil gambar..hehe…orang bercinta memang macam tu yer..duduk-duduk nak ambil gambar. Sayang, tunggulah di luar biar abang masak..nanti malu..tak jadi…Sayang rehat yer..tengok masa buka nanti..

    Baru tahu sebab apa wanita suka upload makanan kat fb..yerlah sebab dia masak. Dia penat. Dia seronok. Tu jer…hee..

    Cuba tengok isteri, sambil masak boleh layan suami..sambil masak boleh buat susu anak. Sambil masak boleh kemas rumah. Sambil onn mesin basuh. Kutip baju. Beribu kerja satu masa…

    Saya masak macam mengaji. Solat. Betul-betul khusuk. Yerlah macam orang baru ambil lesen kereta. L….dapur pun bersepah..dah siap baru kemas..

    Lihat seorang isteri mereka berpuasa sama dengan kita suami. Mereka bekerja, sama dengan kita cari rezeki. Jika tak kerja di luar, kerja di rumah 24 jam tak habis-habis. 

    Tapi bila sampai rumah kebanyakannya isteri jaga anak-anak. Kita sedap-sedap dapat solat isya dan Tarawih di masjid. Jumpa kawan-kawan di masjid. Isteri sibuk urus anak sepanjang malam. Buat yang anak-anak masih kecil. 

    Isteri sibuk uruskan anak-anak. Lepas tu mereka juga bangun sahur awal. Ada pula suami pesan isteri jangan lupa kejut sahur. Kalau tak kejut abang tak puasa. Jika tak bangun, marah isteri. 

    Kasihanilah ibu dan isteri kita. Sayangilah mereka. Mereka tolong kita cari duit tanpa harap balasan. Mereka jadi bibik 24 jam di rumah. Bibik pun ada gaji dan ada waktu bekerja.

    Isteri jadi tukang masak yang pakar. Masakan mereka dengan doa dan bersih. Sentiasa cari menu baru dan fikir apa nak masak untuk suami..laku rancangan masak. Selebriti masak. Sebab nak beri yang terbaik buat suami. 24 jam fikir nak masak apa. Ya Allah…

    Lepas tu jadi cikgu anak-anak kita. Mereka cikgu math. Mereka ustazah fardhu ain. Mereka guru mengaji. Mereka guru kaunseling. Mereka guru displin. Mereka cikgu bahasa. Semua mereka kena ajar anak-anak. Mereka cikgu adab akhlak. Berapa elaun nak bayar untuk semua subjek. Tapi mereka buat semua tu kerana cinta.

    Lepas tu mereka pelayan dan menjadi hiburan anak-anak. Anak menangis mereka tahu nak apa. Anak kecil belajar cakap. Isteri kita faham. Mereka tahu semua bahasa anak-anak. 

    Mereka tidurkan semua anak-anak. Lepas tu mereka pakai cantik-cantik layan suami lagi. Macam-macam jenis suami ada. Nak macam -macam layanan. Isteri dah penat sepanjang hari..

    Mereka jadi jam loceng. Suami ada hp. Tapi harapkan jam isteri bunyi. Suami dan anak-anak bangun waktu berbeza-beza. 

    Buat saya dan semua suami. Jom kita buat semuanya sama-sama dengan isteri kita. Cintai dan sayangi mereka. Hargai mereka. 

    Ucapkanlah cinta dan sayang pada mereka. Pegang tangan mereka ucapkanlah. “Sayang betapa bertuahnya abang dapat sayang. Terima kasih sudi jadi isteri abang. Abang benar-benar bersyukur dapat sayang. I love u sayang. Abang betul-betul cintakan dan sayang sayang..”sedap sayang masak. Pandainya sayang. Ya Allah hebatnya sayang buat semua kerja ni..

    Bantulah mereka bersama-sama buat kerja rumah. Sekali sekala atau selalu selalulah kita siapkan buka puasa. Kita siapkan sahur. Kejut isteri dan anak sahur. Buat surprise buat isteri dengan kita kemaskan rumah. Mop lantai. Kemas mainan anak-anak. Basuh tandas. Isikan minyak kereta isteri. Siapkan baju isteri dan anak-anak. Kemaskan buku sekolah anak-anak. Basuh baju. Jemurkan semuanya. Angkat baju. Lipat baju. Kemaskan katil kita dan katil anak-anak. Layan anak-anak.

    Kita tidurkan semua anak-anak. Sekali sekala beri isteri rehat awal. Kita urus anak-anak. Nikmat bila kita dapat lihat isteri kita berehat. Wajahnya masa tidur nikmat buat seorang suami. Gembira campur sebak tengok wanita ini tinggalkan semuanya untuk bersama kita..berilah juga duit belanja dan apa yang kita ingin untuk kita berilah juga kepada mereka.

    Doakanlah isteri kita. Doakan orang yang kita sayangi. Tiada hadiah paling berharga atas semua itu melebihi mendoakan mereka

     
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    Posted by on May 31, 2017 in coretan

     

    whispers of inner self…

    I have done something that I regret alot. Last few days were not my happy days. I feel anger and sad at the same time. There were reasons for that but I don’t think this is the space to talk about it. What I’m focusing on is the way I treat others, those who are close to my heart mainly my youngers daughter. She became my punching bag! (literally speaking).

    Thinking back, this anger has been build up years ago. Never really letting it out on the right person. Keeping it all in and hoping it will dissapear one day. But it didn’t! It keeps piling up and as I discover, I’m feeling depressed. Did tried once, talking it out but nothing gained from it. I was not given the chance to be understood. And I hate being taken for granted.

    I don’t know why her? A small mistake made and I was like a monster, roaring aloud at her. She cried that night because I really ignored her. It breaks my heart thinking about it. So very sorry sayang. I got overboard this time. 

    I’m tired of feeling deceived, ignored, unimportant and burden to others. Things must change for the better. Hoping this coming Ramadhan will help me clense out all the negativiti in me. Letting go of all the sorrow build up for years and forgive the one who makes my heartache. I am not me anymore till I squeeze out the anger, hatred and instill in me the goodness of others. I can’t change them but I can try to change me. InsyaAllah

     
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    Posted by on May 22, 2017 in coretan

     

    sunday…

    Its Sunday and its the last sunday before Ramadhan Ahlan Wasahlan. Best fasting month this year because half of it will be during school holidays. Moga amal ibadahku dalam bulan Ramadhan kali ini berterusan di amalkan sepanjang hayat yang bersisa ini. Istiqomah…

    Today’s routine, send off Nasuha for her tuition class, finish off my question paper and house chores. Its a sunny day, hopefully till the end of the day. I have tonns of laundry to settle today, so please hold on dear rain. Writing this in my bedroom while waiting for the kids to wake up. The washing mashine is doing its spinning now, second round already. Me, wanting to get to other chores but… aduiii, laziness preventing! Google lah…

    In DHAS now, waiting in the car for her to finish her tuition class. Lucky I brought my lappy, get to do my school work ( working in sauna… too long to on the car aircon). Lots of people around. It seems like there’s bola baling match going on. Boys all over…Back home with intention to cook for lunch. But in my Noxxa, still left overs Nasi Arab. Feeling hungry, ate my nasi with Sambal Hijau Ikan Bilis and Daging Dendeng Dapor Dinda from Ana Salwa, an entrepreneur aka my classmate since primary school. Sedap beb… definitely repeat order Ana!

      Rained and I am sleepy but thinking of school work not done… play with the cats dulu lah… haahaduii. Ignoring me ehh… haishhh

      Then I’m pen off lah. Stop making, creating excuses. Do your work NOW!!!

       
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      Posted by on May 21, 2017 in coretan

       

      Memories…

      Listening to evergreen songs, my favourites. Sing along with beautiful lyrics… mind wondering, reminding and missing….

      When I Need You

      Without You

      Hard to Say I’m Sorry

      Right Here Waiting

      Against All Odds

      Because You Loved Me

      Hero

       
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      Posted by on May 17, 2017 in coretan

       

      my Saturday…

      Wish I could lay down tied to my heavenly bed just a little bit longer. The screaming alarm keep saying, get up… get up!. Its my rutine morning call without fail. Alarm at 5.00 am but jumping out of bed, 30 minutes later… hahaha

      Saturday is as usual like any other weekdays. Today, mum at wok and uber on the road. Waking up my Aishah with a very patience gesture because she can be very cruel to those who woke her up. At one time, I did got her free kick!  Whereas Nasuha, a touch of a finger can make her up and about. But, her bathroom affair takes up a lonnnngg time. Usually I will make her go to the bathroom first while I do other choas in the house.

      Not enough time for breakfast. Today my daughters have activities in school. Aishah, again as usual, a stop by Zakat Mart is sufficient enough. A packet of Chipsmore and a Milo will make her smile and eager to go to school. Her English Tuition class by Sir Siva is on every Saturday from 8.00 am to 10.00 am. Hopefully her english will be improving tremendously. A very good effort by the teachers to give extra class to ‘budak kampung’. Thank you teachers!!

      Came back to the house to fetch Nasuha. She also going to her school because she’ll be helping her teachers in the field. There are Bola Baling friendly matchers between schools in Seberang Perai Tengah. We had our breakfast in the FF restaurant in Sg Dua. Too early and we were the first customer. Had our hot Milo first while waiting for chicken porriage to be serve.

      After sending her in, I stayed awhile in the car. Mark a few exercises books and my eyes started to drift zzzzz. I remembered, onions and garlic is null in my kitchen. Nearby is Market Sg. Dua. Walked there and bought those things  including Chicken Meat and Tapai Pulut. I just love Tapai Pulut. On the way, I stopped at Kedai Ikhwan to buy Fried Chicken for Amir. 

      A bit tired of diving nowadays. Age factor, I guess. Saturday is the time to do house choas. Piles of dirty clothes to be wash. Can’t delay this because its a rainy season. Washing is always easy but folding clothes is not my thingy. My dearest husband will always help with this (thank you sayang). But since he got transfered to Precint  2, the clothes start piling up so high. “Kids…. please take your own clothes and fold them yourself…”

      Lunch…. got a craving for nasi lemak. Just bought anchovies, fresh from Tanjung Dawai. So, decided to have nasi lemak for lunch!  My children asked for Sambal Ikan Bilis, Boiled eggs and mix vegetables. Done eating!!

      Afternoon, spent lazying around the house, playing with the kittens and watching TV. Amir with his kebun around the house. Sangat rajin budak ni, said my mum. Yesterday he brought back these from his kebun…pumpkin and sweet corn. Ermm… nak masak apa ya??

      Night came early as I felt tired already. Off to bed then. The kids were doing their school work. Mak also off to bed early. The night was cold, rain poured heavily. Bestnya tidur….. 😴😴😴

       
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      Posted by on April 1, 2017 in coretan